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What You Should Know About Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Most people who are in a relationship experience conflict from time to time. Married people can get into disagreements because of their different backgrounds, personalities and expectations. It is common for couples to argue, disagree or bicker over certain issues regularly. Some conflicts have the potential to ruin a relationship. Therefore, you need to know how to solve such conflicts. By learning about the strategies for couples conflict solution, you will be able to preserve and protect your relationship.

At times, conflict begins with the possibility of making major changes. Your spouse can respond in a hostile manner after you have stated your case. This can include yelling, talking over you or tuning out completely. During the initial phases of resolving conflicts, the process used is more important than the words used. You can disagree in a healthy way by developing good listening skills.

People in a relationship should let their partners share their concerns, worries or frustrations. They should provide them with the chance to share their feelings in a safe way without fearing that they will be ridiculed with cutting statements. This way, their partners will be open and willing to hear what they have to say.

In order to resolve conflicts, you should also speak about the way you feel without shifting blame to your partner. The statements that directly assault the character of your partner can be particularly damaging to your relationship. For instance, if you are frustrated with the jealousy of your partner, do not say that he or she is completely irrational. Instead, you can tell him or her that you get irritated when he or she claims that you are flirting with someone during innocent conversions. This tactic is direct, but it does not impugn on the character of your lover.

As you address an issue, you should also not make generalizations about your partner. Avoid using words such as never and always. If you use them, your partner may become defensive and begin coming up with examples should that he or she really does the things you are speaking about. You should try to create a discussion about how your spouse can be more helpful and attentive.

Couples can also have constructive discussions if they deal with one problem at a time. When individuals are not happy, it is common for them to bring up a number of topics into one discussion. This is a poor strategy of solving personal problems. When a number of complaints are raised at the same time, getting any one of them solved fully is unlikely.

If your spouse criticizes you, you should not object to the complaints he or she makes. You cannot solve problems if you are defensive. It is better to listen to your spouse and consider what he or she is saying.

Getting the assistance of a coupes counselor is another good way to solve conflicts in your relationship. You can inform the counselor about the issues you are facing and then discuss them with him or her. When undergoing counseling, you can express your emotions and desires in an environment, which is safe and respectful. Counseling can also heal the hurtful feelings brought about by infidelity, bereavement and neglect. Your counselor will assist you to build a relationship, which is more meaningful and intimate.




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