Bruce Lee, the legendary martial artist, once said, "Emotion can be the enemy. If you give in to your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions because the body always follows the mind."
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Do you remember the old adage, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" That couldn't ring more true than when it comes to emotions.
Science has proven that when left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to physical and psychological situations. Emotions run amok will have you shouting or crying. They will have you making incorrect assumptions and not asking enough questions. Believe it or not, all of this is done in the name of survival.
In the heat of the moment your body initially responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be your friends, emotions can leave you in a world of trouble. The reason this happens is simple.
Human beings are not biologically designed for diplomacy. We are designed for survival.
The emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, was rolling along for millions and millions of years doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to complicate things.
Now a person knows that if he or she can't do physical harm, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and responds accordingly.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
But at the office an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. In a negotiation it might cost you the deal. In an argument it might cost you a relationship.
So, I guess the timeless advice about counting to ten to calm yourself down is verified, not only by common sense, but also science. Hopefully, counting to ten will give your logical brain a better chance of getting back in control.
So, if you ever feel a wave of emotions flooding your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex. Leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence--Joshua Freeman, calls it the "six second pause."
For most of us, it's probably even better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Do you remember the old adage, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" That couldn't ring more true than when it comes to emotions.
Science has proven that when left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to physical and psychological situations. Emotions run amok will have you shouting or crying. They will have you making incorrect assumptions and not asking enough questions. Believe it or not, all of this is done in the name of survival.
In the heat of the moment your body initially responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be your friends, emotions can leave you in a world of trouble. The reason this happens is simple.
Human beings are not biologically designed for diplomacy. We are designed for survival.
The emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, was rolling along for millions and millions of years doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to complicate things.
Now a person knows that if he or she can't do physical harm, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and responds accordingly.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
But at the office an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. In a negotiation it might cost you the deal. In an argument it might cost you a relationship.
So, I guess the timeless advice about counting to ten to calm yourself down is verified, not only by common sense, but also science. Hopefully, counting to ten will give your logical brain a better chance of getting back in control.
So, if you ever feel a wave of emotions flooding your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex. Leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence--Joshua Freeman, calls it the "six second pause."
For most of us, it's probably even better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
About the Author:
Who else is looking for a fun, engaging and inspiring motivational speaker for youth? Then visit his site to find out about how Al Duncan, one of the world's leading motivational speakers for youth can help young people build a competitive advantage in the 21st Century.
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